The Titans at the Beach
by MoonDeity
Summary: It is a sweltering summer day and Robin, Raven, Starfire, and Beastboy go to the beach! But what is Slade doing here? And why is he wearing a Speedo? PG-13 for naughty scenes. RobStar & BBRae fluff. R&R...This fic is finished!
1. The Curse of Heat

MoonDeity: Hehehe.... I cant resist! Oh yeah...the disclaimer...I dont own the Teen Titans! Please Read and Review....  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It was a scorching day in Jump City. Heat waves shimmered down, melting the asphalt into gummy glue. Everyone was heading down to the coast for a day of relaxing at the beach. Well, almost everyone. Five teenagers looked longingly out of the window of the Titans Tower.  
  
"Man, this sucks." Beastboy fanned himself with a rolled up newspaper. Sweat was pouring down his forehead. The five superheroes weren't exactly happy campers sitting in a stuffy tower with spandex suits. And to make matters worse, the air-conditioning had busted and Cyborg had run out of deodorant. The half-man half-machine sat near the window; giving off a stench so powerful it knocked Robin flat as he entered the main room.  
"Good god Cyborg, what happened to the deodorant?? I thought you had a good supply."  
"He used up all his, yours, Beastboy's and Star's supplies. And he still reeks."  
Robin turned at the monotone drawl that came from Raven. The Goth chick had shed her long cloak and was sitting with a large book on her lap. Right about now she was wishing her bodysuit didn't have long sleeves. The dark spandex shone with sweat and her hair was damp.  
Robin slumped miserably down by his friend. The Boy Wonder had left his gloves, his utility belt, and his cape in his room. His hair was slumping over his eyes, as his hair gel had melted. The cheap substance had leaked down the back of his neck and mixed with sweat, made him smell like a camel.  
Raven scooted away from her sweaty friend to the other end of the couch, an expression of distain on her face. Robin noticed and smirked.  
"Hey, you don't exactly smell like roses, you know."  
Raven rolled her eyes and buried herself in her book.  
"It's way too hot to fight."  
Beastboy groaned from his spot on the floor and ripped off his gloves and belt.  
"Too hot to change.... Too hot...to...get...up..."  
The Changeling made a scene of crawling on the floor, clutching at his throat for water.  
"Need.... drink..."  
Raven wrinkled her nose as Beastboy inched past the coffee table. As he made his way past her, she decided to place a well-aimed kick where it counts.  
Wham!  
"AUUGGHHHHH!!!!"  
Beastboy's screams brought Starfire rushing into the front room. She looked at the writhing Beastboy with confusion.  
"Beastboy! You squirm with the pain of a Knarglforp attack! Yet I do not see the little spotted creature anywhere around!"  
Robin, amid his snickers, turned to Starfire and explained.  
"No Star, Raven just beaned Beastboy in.... an uncomfortable place." Starfire looked at Raven.  
"You mean Raven has turned Beastboy's uncomfortable place into a bean? Oh, that's horrible!"  
Beastboy stood up angrily, clutching at his crotch.  
"No, Starfire, there aren't any beans on me."  
Cyborg pointed at Raven.  
"Rae here decided to do some butt-kicking...literally."  
Starfire examined Beastboy.  
"I thought the kicking of the butt was only reserved for evil-doers! Has Beastboy turned evil?"  
Beastboy and Robin sighed together. Explaining naughty actions to Starfire was something Robin would have to add onto his to-do list. Beastboy smiled at his Tameranian friend.  
"Never mind Star. I feel a little bit better."  
"But you are evidently in agony! I shall make a Tameranian pudding for the curing of beans!"  
"STARFIRE! NEVER MIND!"  
Robin sighed.  
"Its too hot for pudding anyway."  
Beastboy plunked down between Raven and Robin.  
"Aw man Rae, you sure know how to kick."  
A small smile played across the Goth's face, but it instantly disappeared when she noticed Beastboy was still rubbing his swollen area.  
  
"Riiiight..."  
Starfire sighed.  
"There must be some way too cool off in this unbearable Earth heat!"  
Beastboy twiddled his thumbs.  
"We could go to the beach...."  
Robin stared at his green friend.  
"And leave the city open to attack? I don't think so."  
Raven glanced over to Cyborg.  
"We could go while Cyborg keeps an eye on things here..."  
Cyborg looked up from the window.  
"Actually I don't swim that well. Tec might rust. I could fix the air-conditioning here while you guys go to the beach."  
Robin looked over at Cyborg.  
"Really Cy? You don't mind?"  
Cyborg shook his head.  
"Nah, I work better when people aren't bothering me. 'Specially BB."  
  
"Hey!"  
Starfire leaped up and did a somersault in the air.  
"Wonderful! I shall fetch the spandex bathing outfit!"  
Starfire dashed from the front room in a streak of green. Robin and Beastboy followed closely behind. Suddenly, Beastboy screeched to a stop and turned to Raven.  
"Rae? Aren't you coming?" Raven glared at him from behind her book.  
"Sun and sand isn't my thing," she said, turning her back on the Changeling.  
Beastboy walked toward his friend.  
"But you have to come! Besides, what are you going to do in a stuffy tower all day anyway? Meditate?"  
Raven remained silent. Beastboy crawled under the coffee table and put his hands on the Goth's knees. Sticking his face up under her book, the Changeling stuck out his lower lip and gave his friend big teary puppy eyes.  
"You mean...you don't like me any more?" Raven snarled and pushed Beastboy off her. The green one grinned at her from the floor.  
"Besides, it's the least you can do after giving my balls a joyride."  
  
Raven groaned and rolled her eyes.  
"Fine," she said slamming her book closed. The Goth chick stood up and walked off, mumbling curses under her breath.  
Beastboy leaped up and danced out of the room. He had been waiting for this day for ages; the day he would finally see Raven in a swimsuit. The lust side of his brain was whispering "Hotness!" over and over, while the mischievous side was yelling "Blackmail!" He listened to the lust side most of all. Beastboy was seriously looking forward to seeing Raven in something else beside her bodysuit and depressing cloak.  
"I wonder how she would look with a tan?" he thought.  
The Changeling had reached his room and was rummaging through piles of junk. Finally, he produced a pair of moldy green swim trucks.  
"I'm sure they still fit," he said pulling a cherry lollipop off them. Shucking off his clothes he pulled the trunks on. He leaped in front of his closet mirror, sucking up his fat into imaginary muscles.  
"Oh, Beastboy, you look sooooo buff!" he said in a fake girly voice.  
  
"Why thank you madam."  
"Oh Beastboy, marry me!"  
"Oooo...Beastboy!"  
BB waved at the imaginary throngs of screaming girls.  
"Please, ladies, call me BB."  
Beastboy chuckled and grabbed some sunscreen.  
"If seeing my hot bod in a swimsuit doesn't get Raven to like me, nothing will!" he thought as he skipped out of his room.  
  
Meanwhile, in the garage, Cyborg was briefing Robin on the proper handling of the T-Car. Robin, however, was paying absolutely no attention to Cyborg. The Boy Wonder was completely captivated by Starfire. She was wearing a light purple low-cut (VERY low cut) tankini and bikini bottoms. While Robin was drooling over her, Starfire was trying to figure out the mystery of sunglasses.  
"What fascinatingly colored face ornaments! But what on earth are they for?"  
Starfire hung the purple sunglasses upside down on her ears. She admired her reflection in the T-Car's window.  
"Gorgeous!" she said as she climbed into the passenger's side.  
Beastboy skipped in wearing a huge grin.  
"Hiya Ra...ven? Where's your suit?" Beastboy peered around the garage as if the swimsuit was hiding in the shadows.  
The Goth smiled smugly.  
"I said I'd go to the beach, not swim. Besides, you just get sand in that ridiculous suit anyway. Nice briefs, by the way."  
Beastboy's happy smile had completely dissolved, leaving him with a dejected expression.  
"Oh. Thanks," he said, shuffling into the T-Car, head and ears drooping. Raven, feeling no guilt, climbed in after him.  
Cyborg continued to lecture Robin (who now had drool coming out of his mouth) about T-Car security. The half-man half-machine buckled Robin in the driver's seat and plugged the keys into the transmission.  
"Ok Rob, that's about it. Just have fun with her, ok? Robin? Yo, Rob? Rooobbiiin..."  
Cyborg waved his hand in front of Robin's. Robin tore his eyes off Starfire and shook his head.  
"Huh? Oh, sorry." Robin wiped drool off his red trunks and immediately assumed leader mode.  
"Ok, Titans, ready for a day of fun in the sun?"  
A bright yay from Starfire, a dismal "Huzzah" from Raven, and a groan from now-depressed Beastboy issued.  
Robin started the T-Car and backed onto the road, leaving Cyborg in the dust.  
"Have a good time, y'all!" he waved.  
"Come back alive!"  
  
MoonDeity: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! (rubs hand together and maniacally gloats) What surprises will the Titans discover at the beach? Hoards of preps? Hot dog stands? Cucumbers in hula skirts? R&R...if you dare! 


	2. Slade?

MoonDeity: Behold! The second chapter! Thank you all reviewers, I got excellent comments. And ONE of the reviewers promised me a cookie if I updated...(taps foot impatiently) I want a cookie! I also used an idea from Raven the Sorceress. It really is an excellent idea, so a shout-out to her for being creative!   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I also do not own the Speedo Swim Company, or the loofahs.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The T-Car pulled up into Jump Beach's parking lot. Even though it was morning, the lot was packed with cars and even more packed with teens. The Titans stared as a hoard of squealing preps passed by. Raven's eye twitched as the blonde herd thundered by.  
  
"Ummm...I'm going to pretend that didn't just happen..." she retched at the passing of the bubbly pinkness.  
  
"Cheer up Rae. How bad can the preps be?"  
  
Raven turned disbelievingly at Beastboy.  
  
"Apparently, you have not yet experienced their nauseatingly 'happy' attitude."  
  
Robin was helping Starfire unpack the beach items and the picnic basket from the trunk. He looked over at his two friends and shouted,  
  
"Hey you two, how about lending a hand?"  
  
After two trips to the T-Car and back, the Titans had finally secured a spot on the beach. Robin held up a clipboard and took inventory.  
  
"Ok, we have the picnic basket, the volleyball, the sand castle stuff, suntan lotion, boogie board, flippers and goggles, and...oh yeah! The loofah!"  
  
Raven looked up from where she was shoving her umbrella into the sand.  
  
"Um, why do we have a loofah?"  
  
Robin shrugged.  
  
"Beastboy is experimenting with what the best natural habitat for loofahs is."  
  
Beastboy looked up from where he was whispering to a pail filled with loofahs.  
  
"Don't stare! They have feelings too, you know!"  
  
Raven rolled her eyes and buried her nose in a book. Robin was trying to keep Starfire from eating the sand and Beastboy was scoping out the beach with binoculars, looking for babes. Ever so often, however, his eyes would stray over to where Raven sat.  
  
"No, Star, no matter how much sand tastes good, you can't eat it!"  
  
"But if it is not for consumption, then why are these delectable chocolate sprinkles on it?"  
  
"Star...I think that's clam poop..."  
  
"Hello! May I interest you teens in buying a tee shirt?"  
  
The Titans stared at the blonde girl who popped out of nowhere. She was dressed in a goofy, oversize hot-dog costume and was literally a walking, talking gift shop. A large cardboard ring had fit snugly on her waist, holding a cache of random things such as stuffed animals and beach balls. Another ring circled her forehead and it supported necklaces, ties, bikini tops, and other random hanging items.  
  
"Perhaps you would like to purchase a coffee mug?"  
  
Raven stared at the girl icily, and then returned to her book.  
  
"The last thing we need around the tower is more junk. No thank you. Now beat it."  
  
"Are you sure? Perhaps a shark tooth necklace? How 'bout some flip- flops?"  
  
A large hand tapped the blonde girl on the shoulder.  
  
"Excuse me. But I believe you are talking to the very people I myself need to talk to."  
  
The Titans gasped when they saw who it was. It was Slade! The mortal nemesis of the Titans was without his evil bodysuit. Only his mask was left on covering his face and he was wearing a dorky sun visor. Instead of swim trunks, Slade had chosen blue Speedo.  
  
"Lovely day, Titans. Are you enjoying your day at the beach?"  
  
Robin's eyes were about the size of dinner plates at the sight of his greatest enemy in a Speedo. He was too stunned to even ball his hand into a fist and launch an attack. His other friends were feeling the same way.  
  
"Slade??? Wha...wha...why...Spee...Speedo!"  
  
Slade rolled his one eye.  
  
"If you must know Titans, the reason why I am here is becau—"  
  
"Good morning sir! May I interest you in purchasing this lovely sunhat?"  
  
The sales-girl, having found new prey, held out a tacky sunhat expectantly. Slade leaned over and loomed over her menacingly.  
  
"If you ever shove that wasteful merchandise at me again, I will wring your ne—Oh! Are those stuffed sea lions?? I LOVE stuffed sea lions!! Awww, I used to play with them when I was little! I'll take thirty-two!"  
  
Slade had his arms full of the cuddly animals and he was giggling like a little girl.  
  
"Oh, they are soooo cute and cuddly and fluffy! I'm going to name this one George, and this one Lisa, and this one Harvey, and this one..."  
  
Beastboy tugged timidly at Slade's Speedo.  
  
"Umm, Mr. Bad-Guy Slade? You didn't tell us why exactly you were here..."  
  
"Oh, yes."  
  
Slade relinquished his hold on some of the sea lions to explain.  
  
"I am here for two reasons: One, my evil lair has no air conditioning. And two, I am here so these hoards of scantily-clad attractive female bathers can admire me for my...um...my...uh...hang on a second."  
  
Slade rummaged in his bag and pulled out a book entitled "Hip Teen Lingo". He started to leaf through the pages furiously.  
  
"Here it is! My BUFF! So the female bathers can admire my BUFF!"  
  
Slade puffed out his chest and looked very proud of himself now that he had mastered a word of hip, young teen lingo. Then, almost as if on cue, a stampede of thong-bikini-wearing babes ran over and surrounded Slade.  
  
"Oh Mr. Slade! Can I feel your muscles?"  
  
"Wow Slade! For a psycho, you sure are hot!"  
  
"Oh Slade, you are the only guy who can make Speedos look sexy!"  
  
"Aww...stuffed sea lions! You have a sensitive and cuddly side too!"  
  
"Oh, Mr. Slade! Will you rub some sun-tan lotion on my back, please?"  
  
"No! Do me first!"  
  
"No! Me!"  
  
"No, me first!"  
  
"Now, now ladies. There is plenty of Slade to go around. Follow me!"  
  
Robin and Beastboy stared at Slade as he ran off surrounded by babes. Raven had returned to her book, too disgusted to speak and Starfire was munching on sand, staring curiously at the stunned boys from her spot on the ground.  
  
"Why do you look as if a Pokofink was digesting your feet? We should be happy for Slade. Perhaps having fun at the beach will cure Slade of his evil thoughts, yes? Robin?"  
  
Robin rubbed his eyes and turned to Starfire.  
  
"Erm, sure Star. Hey BB, do you think we should arrest him?"  
  
Beastboy turned to Robin in disbelief. He shook his head.  
  
"Robin, dude, any day you want to do battle with Slade is fine with me. But just not today. Not with him wearing that Speedo; it already looks to small."  
  
While Robin and Beastboy laughed, Starfire went on innocently munching her sand. Her eyes strayed over to Raven, who was grumpily buried in her book with no sunlight touching her body what so ever. But most shocking to Starfire was that "friend Raven" was not wearing a bathing suit! Starfire bounced over and seated herself next to her surly friend.  
  
"Friend Raven! Why are you not wearing one of these delightful spandex bathing outfits?"  
  
Raven glared at Starfire from behind the covers of her book.  
  
"Because Starfire, if I wore a bathing suit, someone would try to get me to go into the water. And I do not like the water."  
  
"But Raven! If you do not wear a bathing suit, then how will you get one of these lovely 'tans'?"  
  
Starfire waved her own sun-browned arms in Raven's face for emphasis. The Goth wrinkled her nose and pushed her friend's arm away.  
  
"Starfire, you know how I have fair skin?"  
  
The Tameranean nodded.  
  
"Well Star, my skin doesn't tan. It BURNS."  
  
Raven glared at Starfire. But her stubborn friend pressed her on.  
  
"Still, no one should be without the delights of a spandex bathing outfit! I shall accompany you myself to the smaller Mall of Shopping located at this beach!"  
  
Raven looked questioningly at Robin.  
  
"We have a shopping mall at the beach?"  
  
Robin shook his head and pointed to a grass-thatched building in the distance.  
  
"I think she means the Surf Shack, Rae."  
  
Starfire bounced up and down excitedly.  
  
"Yes, yes! The Shack of Surfs! They have a wide variety of bathing outfits!"  
  
The Tameranean seized her Goth friend's ankles and pulled off her blanket and through the sand toward the Surf Shack. Raven was digging her nails into the sand and was making long furrows.  
  
"Starfire! I don't want to go!!"  
  
"Nonsense, friend Raven! I am positive the Shack of Surfs will have a suit of darkness that suits you!"  
  
"STARFIRE! No way am I goi—AKPTH!"  
  
Starfire had drug her unfortunate friend through a sandcastle. Back at the camp, the boys had another laugh as they watched the comic scene. Robin looked at Beastboy curiously. His friend's mood was greatly lightened now that he had found out that Raven would finally appear in a swimsuit. Robin was glad for him; he had experienced a slice of Starfire. It was only fair now that Beastboy could get a slice of lust. The rumbling of his stomach interrupted Robin's thoughts. He glanced at his watch and it was almost noon.  
  
"Hey Beastboy. It's noon, so let's unpack the picnic so it's ready for the girls when they get back, ok?"  
  
Beastboy saluted cheerily and changed into a cheetah. As he bounded off for the picnic basket, Robin unfolded and spread out a checked blanket. He was fixing the creases when...  
  
"Lovely day, sir! Would you like to purchase this wonderful pen and pencil set? Only $20.00!"  
  
Robin looked up in surprise at the return of the girl in the hot-dog suit.  
  
"Or how about this great food processor? Guaranteed to chop carrots and pineapple!"  
  
"NO! Would you stop trying to sell us stuff?"  
  
The hot-dog girl smiled cheekily.  
  
"Perhaps you would be more interested on this lovely lava lamp? Or maybe this awesome electric toothbrush?"  
  
"NOOO!!"  
  
Robin lunged himself at the sales-girl with Raven's beach umbrella raised over his head as a weapon.  
  
"WHAT PART OF 'NO' DON'T YOU MARKETING PEOPLE UNDERSTAND???? NONONONONONONO!!!!!"  
  
Beastboy came over a sand dune lugging a gigantic picnic basket behind him.  
  
"Jeeze, what the heck did Star pack in this thi—what the hell??"  
  
Beastboy beheld yet another comical sight. Robin had pinned down the hot-dog girl in a leg-lock. Furthermore, he was wacking the squealing sales-girl in the behind with an umbrella.  
  
"Take this! And this! And this and some of this! Oh, hey Beastboy."  
  
With Robin distracted, the hot-dog girl gave a mighty squeak and wriggled free of Robin's grasp. The Boy Wonder wiped sweat off his forehead as he watched the blonde run down the beach, leaving a trail of merchandise behind her. Beastboy came up behind his friend, dragging the gigantic picnic basket behind.  
  
"Ok, that was a little strange. Anyhow, will you help me with the picnic?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
Meanwhile, in the Surf Shack....  
  
MoonDeity: Wow, I wrote for a long time. Anyhow, the next chapter will be a scene with Raven and Starfire shopping. Do Read & Review; I got some really good comments on the first chapter! Thanks again to Raven the Sorceress.  
  
To Be Continued... 


	3. Behind the Restrooms

MoonDeity: Wow, reviews were flooding my inbox! Thanks to the anonymous reviewers and to the reviewers who have accounts. And I apologize if it has seemed like I haven't updated in a week. I was on vacation (Hey, even writers get vacations!) in Phoenix, Arizona. Great place, I stayed at the Boulders Resort. It was crawling with lizards, bunnies, quails, and coyotes. But since I felt guilty abandoning my fics, I took my laptop with me to the poolside and worked my butt off. Ok, so I only got one chapter done. But it's the thought that counts, right? Please enjoy Chapter 3; it took forever to get perfect...(it has a lot of RobStar romance, but I worked hard to make it funny)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or Slade. The hot-dog girl is an idea belonging to Raven the Sorceress. And the hula cucumbers were a hallucination belonging to my brother's socks.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"We have arrived!" Starfire exclaimed excitedly.  
  
She dropped her captured friend's ankles with a plop and started to dance weirdly in front of the door to the Surf Shack. Raven just lay there like a board with her face in the sand.  
  
"Oh Raven, this is so exciting! Finally I may help you choose a spandex bathing outfit! I am sure your appearance in the suit will help Beastboy be 'turned on'."  
  
Raven lifted her face out of the sand and stared at Starfire disgustedly.  
  
"I hope I don't turn him on Star. Besides..."  
  
Raven looked away.  
  
"I don't look good in a swimsuit."  
  
Starfire grabbed the Goth's shoulders and yanked her upright.  
  
"But friend Raven! How could you say that? You always wear that dark bodysuit that shows off your legs marvelously and is fairly tight fitting. I know that it is 'hot' because I have caught our green friend Beastboy 'checking you out' numerous times!" she said as she dusted sand off the Goth's bodysuit.  
  
Raven was frowned, but before she could say anything, Starfire whisked her into the Surf Shack. Inside, it was cool and quiet. A ceiling fan twirled lazily over the racks of swimsuits and beach toys. A sandy-haired male slumped at the cash register reading an issue of Beach Babes.   
Starfire guided Raven to the back of the women's swimsuit section and found her a dressing room. After seating her friend inside, the Tameranean proceeded to zoom about collecting suits.  
  
"This is an amusing fuchsia suit!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Here is an adorable petal pink!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Perhaps this subtle dusty rose?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Maybe a delightful maroon one-piece?"  
  
"No."  
  
"A light-purple tankini?'  
  
"No."  
  
"A sweet yellow flowered suit?"  
  
"No."  
  
"This fiery orange bikini?"  
  
"No."  
  
"This pleasing baby-blue?"  
  
"No."  
  
"A cheery red outfit?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then this lime flowered skirt!"  
  
"Ew. No."  
  
Starfire sighed and tossed the suit into a pile labeled "Rejects".  
  
"But Raven! That was the last bright happy bathing outfit! All that is left now are these depressing dark purple, blue, and black outfits!"  
  
Raven rolled her eyes and grabbed the bundle of suits out of Starfire's hands.  
  
"Duh, Starfire. I'm not going to wear some silly bright suit. I like these much more. See yah."  
  
And with that, Raven disappeared inside the dressing room, leaving her unfortunate Tameranean friend to wait outside.  
  
Thirty minutes later, Raven had finally made her decision. She unlatched the dressing room's door and modeled it for her friend. Starfire clapped her hands with ecstasy when she saw Raven.  
The Goth had chosen a suit with black bikini bottoms. Her top was dark blue, showing a little cleavage (ok, a lot of cleavage) and it tied in the back. Starfire twirled around happily.  
  
"Oh Raven, you look most defiantly 'hot'! I am sure Beastboy will be overcome when he views you!"  
  
Raven rolled her eyes and made her way toward the cash register. The blonde teen scanned the tags and rang up the total. After paying, Star dragged her Gothic friend back to the camp sight.  
  
The boys were already eating when they arrived. Once Beastboy saw Raven, he couldn't take his eyes off her. It now was his turn to have drool coming out of his mouth. The Goth sat down on the blanket beside the Changeling and calmly dished herself some potato salad. Beastboy crawled worm-style over to her and drooled on her knee. Raven rolled her eyes, but let him stay there.   
Starfire, on the other hand, sat down beside Robin, who was curiously eyeing her. After getting herself some mustard, Star inched closer to Robin, one hand behind her back. The Boy Wonder also scooted closer, one hand snaking suspiciously behind Starfire. Raven looked up from her hot dog and noticed the curious facial expressions on the pair. Reaching out with her mind, she discovered the unusual location of Robin's hand. Looking inside their minds, she was overcome by waves of lust. Raven shook her head and turned to stop Beastboy from drooling on the coleslaw. Robin and Starfire seemed glued to each other and Star was choking on her mustard. Robin had a strangely happy expression on his face as he munched on a hamburger. Suddenly, Starfire shot up from her spot on the blanket. She grinned apologetically at Raven and Beastboy and said,  
  
"Most sorry, friends. But Robin and I need to use the...um...the restroom facilities."  
  
Robin looked confused and was about to say something, but Star grabbed his wrists and yanked him upright. The pair trotted off, stumbling and giggling madly, toward the bathrooms. Raven rolled her eyes and shoved a drooling Beastboy off her. She smacked him twice on his face and he immediately snapped out of it.  
  
"Ablagh...huh? What? Oh...heh heh. Sorry, Rae."  
  
Raven stood up and wiped the drool off her legs. She faced the awkward green one and sighed to herself.  
  
"Great, just great. I'm stuck with the drooling green elf for who knows how long. Oh God, Star and Robin...please hurry back..."  
  
Meanwhile....Behind the restrooms....  
  
"Oh! Goodness, Robin. Are you sure this is the practice teens do when they 'like' each other?"  
  
Robin looked up and nodded. As soon as the two Titans had made it to the restrooms, Robin dived on Starfire and proceeded to make out with her. The Tameranean giggled as he nibbled at her ear. Robin took her face between his hands and deeply kissed her. Star groaned with delight and kissed his neck.  
  
"Robin?"  
  
"Yes, Starfire?"  
  
"Does this mean we shall be married? You did set out that feast and on my planet..."  
  
The Boy Wonder sighed and stroked Star's face.  
  
"Actually, Star, we are too young to be married. And that was a picnic, not a marriage banquet."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
The Tameranean looked disappointed. Robin noticed and took her face between his hands. Kissing her lips, Robin smiled at her.  
  
"Tell you what, Starfire. We can be 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend', ok?"  
  
Star wrapped her arms around Robin and looked thoughtful.  
  
"What is this 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'?"  
  
The Boy Wonder kissed Starfire's cheek.  
  
"It means I take you out to romantic places. It's called 'dating'."  
  
Starfire blinked her emerald eyes at her new "boyfriend".  
  
"Shall we still be allowed to exchange saliva in a pleasing way?"  
  
Robin chuckled and stroked the Tameranean's hair.  
  
"Yes, I promise. And it's called 'kissing', by the way."  
  
Starfire giggled and nuzzled Robin.  
  
"I think I like the 'kissing' part the best," she whispered.  
  
Robin brought his face closer to Starfire's.  
  
"Me too..."  
  
The pair's lips were almost touching; a kiss was near....when suddenly...  
  
"May I interest you in purchasing this CD player?"  
  
Robin screamed like a little girl and jumped two feet in the air off Starfire. The Boy Wonder landed right at the feet of the annoying hot-dog sales girl, who was holding a CD player out expectantly. His girlfriend sat up and confusedly poked his side.  
  
"Boyfriend Robin? Why does the talking wiener interrupt our activities?"  
  
Robin glared up at the sales girl, one eye twitching in annoyance.  
  
"Don't worry Starfire...she's going to get what she deserves!"  
  
But before he could react, something lifted the hot-dog girl from behind. She kicked and squealed, but the invisible force hurled her on the bathroom's roof. Robin and Star turned to behold the attacker.   
It was a cucumber. Not only was it a cucumber, but a hula-skirt wearing cucumber. The vegetable bowed at the stunned couple.  
  
"Goodness, that young lady was annoying. Are you two unharmed?"  
  
Robin and Starfire nodded weakly as though their necks were made of Jell-O. The cucumber nodded and said,  
  
"Well, it was a pleasure to save you. Now if you please, I must get back to my master."  
  
Robin held up one finger and raised an eyebrow at the vegetable.  
  
"Wait a second...what master? Cucumbers have masters?"  
  
The cucumber raised an invisible eyebrow at the Boy Wonder.  
  
"Of course I have a master, do you live in a box? Ah, here he comes now."  
  
A large shadow over-hung the green plant and a subtle, familiar voice said,  
  
"Thank you George. That will be all."  
  
The cucumber bowed and exited between the legs of Slade. Yes, the Speedo- wearing maniac was back, only he had a pina-colada in hand. Slade moved himself so that his crotch was directly above the two Titans.  
  
"So, Titans, what do you think of my cucumber army? Most frightening, aren't they?"  
  
Robin started to sweat and he stuttered out his answer.  
  
"Uh...heh-heh....um, yeah, pulverizing...uh, Slade?"  
  
Slade looked up from admiring his perfectly manicured nails. Beside Robin, Starfire let out a little moan and buried her face in her boyfriend's arm.  
  
"Oh, boyfriend Robin, please make Slade move himself...the view here is most unpleasant..."  
  
The Boy Wonder's face turned bright red.  
  
"Uh, yeah Slade. Would you mind moving yourself? And what the heck are you doing standing over us anyway?"  
  
Slade sighed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.  
  
"Actually, young Titans, I came here not to torment you with my overly- tight swimsuit. I came here to offer you this pina-colada. You see, I have no mouth, thus, I cannot drink it."  
  
Slade set the yellow drink in front of the two Titans. Robin raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Uh, you know you could just take the mask off..."  
  
Slade laughed sarcastically.  
  
"No, Robin, no. Besides, I have no time for delicious liquids. I have my cucumber army to train and a hoard of attractive women waiting for me. Farewell!"  
  
Slade skipped off strangely. Robin set the drink aside.  
  
"I guess Slade forgot we're too young to drink, right Star? Uh, Star? Star...fire?"  
  
The Tameranean was looking very strangely at Robin. She inched her butt toward him and leaned over.  
  
"Robin, I think the hot-dog sales-woman interrupted some of our activities. May we continue them?"  
  
The Boy Wonder grinned at the Tameranean and brought his face close to hers.  
  
"Do you remember where we were, Star? I know I do..."  
  
Meanwhile...At the Titan's Tower...  
  
Cyborg tightened the last bolt on the air conditioning and stood back to admire his work. A welcome breeze now wafted around Titan's Tower. The half-man half-machine wiped his brow and glanced at the built in clock on his arm.  
  
"Wow, the guys aren't supposed to be back from the beach for at least eight hours! Which means..."  
  
Cyborg rummaged under the sofa and held up a cell phone mischievously.  
  
"...it's time to make some calls..."  
  
He pushed some buttons and leaned back on the couch.  
  
"Yo, Charlene? Forget the movie, I've got something better planned..."  
  
Meanwhile...Back at the Picnic Sight...  
  
MoonDeity: (Rubs hands together and laughs madly) What IS Cyborg planning? Will Raven survive being with Beastboy all alone? Will Robin and Starfire ever detach themselves from each other? Will Slade ever stop being a dork? It might take some time to find out...as I plan to lock myself in my basement and play PS2 sagas for a week, surviving mainly on mass-produced green tea and Triscuts! Wish me luck! And I'll get that next chapter up if I don't die from malnutrition. Oh yeah, and I got a review from someone named Kimohno, but they didn't have a user profile. They gave me Slade pick-up lines, which were hilarious! Kimohno, if you are out there, review this and e-mail me, your lines were drop-dead funny! 


	4. Shark Bait

MoonDeity: Ah, the sweet scent of a new chapter. My apologies, I was sober, so that is why I didnt get this done until forever. This chapter is a little nastier than the others...but it is most fluffy in the end!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Beastboy and Raven had finished lunch. The Goth gloomily wrapped up the potato salad and disposed the last of Starfire's pudding. Being stuck on a beach with Beastboy was not her idea of a good time. She snapped open her sunglasses and placed them on her face, trying to ignore Beastboy as he danced around trying to impress her.  
  
"Hey Rae, check out my sandcastle! Do you like the sandcastle? Wanna help me decorate it with shells?"  
  
Raven plopped down on her blanket and pulled out her book, totally ignoring Beastboy. She held her book up so he couldn't see her face and said expressionlessly,  
  
"No. Go away."  
  
The Changeling wasn't so easily crushed.  
  
"Ok then, do you wanna go into the water? We could surf and boogie board—"  
  
Raven gritted her teeth in frustration.  
  
"No Beastboy, you know I hate water."  
  
The green one slid over the sand onto the blanket in front of her, his hands clasped out in front in prayer position.  
  
"PULEEZZ??? We could play Marco Polo or scuba dive or water ski or just lounge in inner tubes! Puleezz?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But Raaaaveeeen!" Beastboy whined.  
  
"No means no. Now haul your green butt off my towel."  
  
Beastboy hung his head and scooted away sadly. He kept moving until he came behind a trashcan, where he hid behind it and peeped back out at Raven. Focusing a pair of binoculars on the Goth, he mumbled to himself.  
  
"Damn it, there has got to be a way to get her into the water. Whining and pleading doesn't work...so that leaves me only one option open..."  
  
Beastboy grinned evilly.  
  
"Blackmail."  
  
Raven glanced over the cover of her book and scanned the beach. No sign of Beastboy. The Goth settled back into her beach chair, savoring the moment of silence she had. Unfortunately, this moment didn't last long. Beastboy came running up to her from up the beach, waving his arms wildly.  
  
"Raven! Look over there!"  
  
The Changeling was pointing past Raven toward the parking lot.  
  
"Is that a fat loser holding your magic mirror, threatening to break a ketchup packet over it?!?!"  
  
The Goth whirled around and squinted toward the parking lot. Seeing no fat loser, she turned back to Beastboy.  
  
"No, that was just Slade trying to break-dance to 80's pop. Hey, where's my book??"  
  
Sure enough, her book had vanished from its spot along with her green friend. But she was more concerned for her book, so she got on her hands and knees and started to search the ground. Ripping off her sunglasses, she pawed the ground feverishly.  
  
"My book was right here! Where could it have gone??"  
  
A whistle caused her to turn around. Raven had found her missing friend as well as her missing book. The only problem was, Beastboy was knee-deep in the water, holding her book menacingly over the waves. He grinned mischievously at Raven.  
  
"C'mon Ravi, if you don't want your book to get ruined, you gotta come into the water!"  
  
The Goth stretched out her hand, her eyes wide with fear.  
  
"Beastboy, don't!"  
  
The Green One lowered her book to the water's surface a tiny bit.  
  
"Closer..."  
  
"Beastboy, I will kill you if you get that book wet!"  
  
"Hey now, that's not a very nice way to talk to the person who could ruin your favorite book! Closer..." he said playfully. Raven stood up, her eyes flaming. She clenched her fists of crackling black energy.  
  
"GIVE ME..."  
  
"Closer..."  
  
"THAT...."  
  
"Closer still..."  
  
"DAMN..."  
  
"Closer..."  
  
"BOOK!!!"  
  
Beastboy lowered her book so that the tiniest tip of the corner touched the water. Unfortunately, Raven saw.  
  
"ARRRGH!!!"  
  
"OOMPH!"  
  
The Goth had bounded over the sand, leapt over the water, and tackled the unsuspecting Beastboy. Her book flew out of his hands in a graceful arc and landed with a plop on his sandcastle, completely destroying it. But poor Beastboy didn't see the destruction of his sandcastle; in fact, he could only see one thing: Raven's boobs. After the Goth had tackled him, she wrapped her legs around the Changeling's middle and started to squeeze his breath out. She was cracking his ribs like she planned, only she didn't know that the Green One's head had fit perfectly in her cleavage.  
  
"Wow!" Beastboy thought as his face was buried in Raven's chest. "She is HOT! And she's in the water with me! This must be my lucky day! Oh wait...no it's not...I can't breathe..."  
  
Yes, that was a problem for the unfortunate Changeling. With Raven holding him fast underwater with her legs, no matter how much Beastboy struggled, he was held fast. And there was no reasoning with Raven, as she was in her I-need-to-rip-out-Beastboy's-lungs mode. The Goth was oblivious to her green friend's needs. So Beastboy got her attention the only way he knew how too. He bit her.  
  
"AND TAKE THIS! AND THIS! AND SOME OF THI—YOUCH!!"  
  
Raven shot out of the water like a cannon, with Beastboy clamping onto her right boob for dear life. The green one relinquished his hold on his friend's tit and stood back, wiping his mouth. The Goth cradled her breast in shock. She looked at Beastboy with wide eyes.  
  
"You...you bit me..." she said in shock.  
  
The Green One approached her, trying to help. Raven withdrew one of her hands from her boobs, staring at the crimson blood on her fingertips. Beastboy stuttered in disbelief when he saw the blood.  
  
"Ohmygosh, Rae! I'm so sorry! I just....well you...I didn't mean to bite you that hard! You were, you know....crushing me...and well....I couldn't breathe...and...oh God, I'm so sorry!"  
  
The Goth stared into Beastboy's eyes. The Changeling fidgeted nervously under Raven's gaze.  
  
"You bit me...YOU SHALL PAY!!!!"  
  
Beastboy screamed like a little girl as Raven threw herself into him again. This time, she lifted him above the water by the shoulders and shook him fiercely. The Changeling's head bobbed as Raven cursed him.  
  
"YOU BIT MY BOOB!!! I WILL NEVER, NEVER FORGIVE YOU, YOU SICK LITTLE GREEN ELF!"  
  
"IIIII'mmmmmm sssssoooorrrryyyy Raaaaavvveeeennnn." Beastboy stuttered as she shook him like a rag doll.   
Raven was in her I-need-to-give-Beastboy-a-heart-attack-mode. As she shook him, the vibrations she caused made her boobs jiggle. And as they moved, so did her loosely tied bikini top. But meanwhile, the pair had unknowingly ventured into chest-deep water. Over Raven's screaming and Beastboy's moaning, the two failed to notice the trademark Jaws music playing. They also failed to notice the triangular dorsal fin that was circling them. Until, that is, the fin bumped into Raven's thigh. It was also, at that exact moment, that Raven's bikini top fell away.  
  
Beastboy looked down and nearly fainted. Partly from the fact that Raven's top was floating in the water, and partly from the fact that the top had snagged in the pointed tip of a shark fin. The Goth paid no attention to either of the problems; all her attention was focused on turning Beastboy's brain into scrambled eggs. The Green One, with his eyes still glued on the shark and the top, rigidly tapped Raven on the arm.  
  
"WHAT????"  
  
Chest (BARE chest) heaving, Raven followed her friend's finger and stared at the shark fin. Gulping, the Goth turned to her friend.  
  
"Beastboy...?"  
  
"Raven...?  
  
"SHAAARRRKK!!!" the two screamed in unison and grabbed onto each other in fear.  
  
KABOOM!  
  
Raven's black energy blew them out of the water, a column of spray following them as they flew upwards.  
  
SPLAT!  
  
Raven and Beastboy had landed in a garbage can, Raven facedown and Beastboy on top of her, shoving her deeper into the trash. Unfortunately, this was the very garbage can Slade puked in five minutes earlier, when he had gotten dizzy trying to break-dance to 80's pop. Beastboy popped his head over the rim and shook vomit from his hair. Down the beach, the shark fin stood up to reveal....Gizmo. The little nemesis of the Titans had strapped a fake fin to his back, and he was outfitted with scuba gear and a little tape player for the Jaws music. Ripping the scuba mouthpiece from his lips, he laughed at the garbage and vomit covered Titans.  
  
"Hahaha! I got you snot-brains so bad! Hahahaha!!"  
  
Gizmo laughed hysterically at his own joke, pointing at the two trashed Titans. He rummaged in the water and threw Raven's sandy top at Beastboy. It caught him vertically between the eyes.  
  
"There's your girlfriend's stinkin' top!"  
  
The Changeling peeled off the top and rubbed the red area gingerly.  
  
"Ow dude, that hurt! And she's not my girlfr—"  
  
Beastboy was interrupted when the garbage started to glow black. It then shot up in a column, carrying the Green One with it. The trash landed back on the beach as Raven hopped out of the trash can, face angry and red. She plucked a banana peel off her head and shook a finger at Gizmo.  
  
"YOU LITTLE FREAK! I'M GOING TO GET YOU IF IT IS THE LAST THING I EVER DO! YOU ARE GON—"  
  
"Wait, Raven."  
  
Beastboy caught her arm and led her away from the trembling Gizmo. He handed the Goth her bikini top and fidgeted slightly.  
  
"Um, instead of killing Gizmo, do you wanna...um...wanna get a smoothie with me?"  
  
Raven finished tying her top and looked at Beastboy in surprise.  
  
"Well...sure! Ok..."  
  
Her Changeling friend smiled widely and offered her his arm. The Goth took it, and the pair walked down the beach, toward the smoothie stand. Beastboy felt a small thrill run through him, and Raven sensed it. Grinning slightly, she laid her head on his shoulder and gave a small sigh. Beastboy's brain erupted in fireworks, and inside, he danced. Inching his hand over her waist, he gripped Raven tightly. And very slowly, their two hands drifted together...until they clasped fingers and held each other.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
MoonDeity: Awww...isn't that darling? Sorry if this chapter seemed a tad nasty, I promise there will be prep-bashing in the next chapter! So in the meantime, eat your green veggies, review this chapter, and sharpen your knifes! 


	5. Kitten, Terra, and APA

MoonDeity: Wheee!!! Thank-you reviewers, and I sincerely apologize for the nastiness in the last chapter. This be the second-to-last chapter, and it features the couples (BB&Rae, Rob&Star) plus a certain Speedo-wearing villain and...well, I'm not going to give it away. Yes, that means you actually have to READ the chapter, sorry. I'm trying to be more descriptive, as I fear that some of the reviewers may have gotten lost in the storyline and all.  
  
Disclaimer: All the Teen Titans characters, good or bad, are property of the person who one day picked up a pencil and created them. I'm just renting them at Rent-A-Character. And Slade's pick-up lines were created by Kimonho aka Chicgeek. The hot-dog girl is property of Raven the Sorceress as well as some of the ideas in this story.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
After all the horrors that had taken place on Jump Beach that day, the evening was actually quite relaxed. The setting sun had cast a certain spell over the normally hyper beachgoers and the chaotic beach was now a dreamy, peaceful atmosphere. The streams of amber light turned the beach a golden color, the ocean water was a dark purple as the light played off it. Even the obnoxious hot-dog girl was gone. Beach officials were lighting anti-mosquito torches and setting up decorations for what looked like a tiki party. Robin and Starfire made their way back to the abandoned camp. The two had eventually detached themselves from each other because their stomachs were rumbling. Starfire still clung to Robin's arm as Slade passed by, his Speedo tighter than ever. At the same time Robin and Star arrived at the camp and sat down, Beastboy and Raven popped up. Raven was strangely quiet, but she was holding the Changeling's hand very tightly. Beastboy, on the other hand, was covered in sticky smoothie from his toes to the tips of his pointed ears. The two sat down across from Robin and Starfire. The Boy Wonder raised an eyebrow at the sticky green one.  
  
"What the heck happened to you, Beastboy?"  
  
The Changeling groaned in response.  
  
"Raven and I were going to get some smoothies, but the stupid guy serving them to us tripped over the hot-dog girl and spilled the smoothie all over me! Good news is that the hot-dog girl is at the hospital. The bad news is that my hot bod is covered in sticky and the management got two new substitutes for the hot-dog girl."  
  
"Who are they?" Starfire and Robin asked at the same time.  
  
Beastboy gulped and hid himself behind Raven.  
  
"Terra and Kitten."  
  
Right on cue, the two obnoxious and hated blondes popped up on opposite sides of the blanket. Terra loomed ominously on Raven and Beastboy's side, and Kitten towered meanly on Robin and Starfire's side. Both looked absolutely horrible in their hot-dog outfits. Kitten was practically buried in the merchandise, so only her big fat mouth stuck out of the jungle of purses and Cheetos®. And Terra's outfit was too small, the folds sagged around her non-existent figure. She leaned down and pulled on Beastboy's ear playfully.  
  
"Hey Beastboy. You remember me? I'll bet you missed me, being stuck in that crummy old tower with some goth, a robot, an alien and an obsessive compulsive, huh?"  
  
Beastboy glared up at the blonde and wrapped his arm protectively around Raven.  
  
"I wish I had forgotten you, Terra. For your information, I just successfully asked that 'goth' out on a date. And you know what, Terra? That 'goth' is really hot!!"  
  
Terra snorted, half out of disbelief that she was rejected and half out of sarcasm.  
  
"It looks like you're wearing that date from your toes up to your ears, Beastboy. Did you fall into the smoothie? Poor baby."  
  
The Changeling stuttered, searching for a comeback. Raven's eyes glowed a dangerous white. On the other side of the blanket, their comrades were getting the same kind of treatment from Kitten. The blonde waved cutely to Robin.  
  
"Hiyah Robby-poo. Remember your kitten? I was just in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by and check up on my 'widdle poo."  
  
Robin's eyes grew big and round and he scooted behind Starfire, whose eyes turned a dangerous emerald green. She pointed an accusing finger at Kitten and said,  
  
"Robin is not your poo, he is MY poo! I do not know what this 'poo' means, but you keep your hands off my boy, do you hear?"  
  
Kitten huffed and remarked, "Oh, how sweet, you two are together now. But that doesn't mean I can't take my poo back!"  
  
Kitten reached behind Starfire and grabbed Robin by the tips of his hair and started to drag him through the sand. The Boy Wonder screamed in pain. His girlfriend shrieked vengefully and grabbed his ankles, while shooting lasers from her eyes at Kitten. The blonde tugged forcefully at Robin's hair, but a blast from Starfire sent her tumbling. Star released her boyfriend's feet and leapt on Kitten, screaming Tameranean was cries at the unfortunate prep. Back with Raven and Beastboy, Terra was victim to Raven's emotion-driven powers.  
  
"YOU THINK I'M SOME GOTH?? I'LL SHOW YOU GOTH!!"  
  
Terra screamed in agony as Raven's black energy tore her hot-dog suit to shreds. Beastboy leaped on his girlfriend and held her back by the arms.  
  
"No Rae! Don't....kill...the...fag..." he grunted in excursion. The Goth flailed her black-energy fists and black lightening crackled out of the stone on her brow. Terra was breathing heavily as she picked the remnants of her hot-dog costume off her blue bikini.  
  
"Ooff!"  
  
Starfire had thrown Kitten into Terra, the blonde's hot-dog costume also in shreds. They lay in a heap as both of the female Titans were held back. So much for a peaceful, relaxing evening. Suddenly, Kitten and Terra were lifted off each other and started to hover across the sand away from the screaming, vengeful Titanesses. Robin squinted at them and located the green bottoms of...cucumbers.  
  
"Cucumbers! Over here..."  
  
The Titans turned to follow the voice of Slade. The psycho was sitting grandly upon a throne made of Popsicle sticks, with his broads surrounding him and guarded by a mass of cucumbers wielding glue bottles as weapons. The Titans followed the vegetables carrying Terra and Kitten to the perimeter of the cucumber guards, then waited and watched. The cucumbers deposited Kitten and Terra at Slade's feet with a plop. The Speedo wearing psycho patted and praised each cucumber for carrying them to him. After that, he turned to the ragged blondes wearing bikinis. Kitten's was a swimsuit made of (predictably) pink material. And she looked pretty good in it for Kitten. Slade pulled her up on his knee first for that reason. Terra, on the other hand, looked more ugly than normal. Her blue bikini top hung off her frame like a dead animal. And her triangle bottom cut into her stomach, making her fat squish over the top. She couldn't have picked a more hideous cut for herself if she tried.  
Slade hesitantly pulled her up as well. Kitten and Terra squirmed viciously, but cucumber guards pointed their glue bottles at them menacingly, so they sat still on Slade's knee.  
  
"I suppose you are wondering why you are sitting on my lap and why my cucumber guards rescued you, hm?"  
  
Terra and Kitten looked up at Slade, then looked down and nearly fainted. Slade glanced at his Speedo, which was now shrunken down to three times its previous size. Not a pleasant view at all for the little blondes. Slade sighed wistfully.  
  
"You see, my hated blondes, I have been patronizing a certain website in search for love. I may have my broads around me, but I need someone significant (they're just my loyal slaves for life). So, now that I have found you...no more villainmatch.com for me!"  
  
And with that, Slade pounced on Terra and Kitten and started to make out with them. The unfortunate blondes squealed and shrieked.  
  
"Ewww!!! Psycho germs! Like, totally gross!"  
  
"Did someone like, say, like? Omigosh, it's, like, Kitten! And like, some other ugly person!"  
  
The Titans, Slade, and the hated blondes turned to a herd of preps on top of a sand dune. They were all ugly, all pink, and all HAPPY. They stampeded over poor innocent beachgoers over to Slade's throne. His cucumber guards pointed their glue bottles menacingly. One fired a warning glob at them. It, tragically, landed on one of the prep's hair. She screamed and clawed at the glue, but it was of no avail. The substance was quick drying, and the prep's hair was soon lost.  
  
"NOOO!!!! KATIE, LIKE, DON'T FALL INTO A BAD-HAIR DAY!!!"  
  
The prep herd wept over their fallen member. The cucumber soldiers looked as confused as the Titans did. Kitten leapt over Terra, over Slade and his vegetable army, and into the arms of her fellow preps. They gave each other pecks on the cheek.  
  
"Omigod! It's, like, totally awesome to see you, Kitten! That was, like, sooooo not cool when you were, like, recruited for that lousy hot-dog girl job!" ,one of the preps exclaimed.  
  
"I, like, totally agree." ,another one stated. "You, like, couldn't even, like, accessorize with these totally plush mustard earrings! Talk about, like, a wet blanket, you know."  
  
The Titans were fascinated by the preps and their dialect. Having not experienced preps first hand, they were oooing and ahhhing over their happy behavior. All of them...except one goth. Raven was frozen rigid- partly because of the preps being less than five meters away, and partly because of her friends being completely curious about them. Beastboy noticed, and waved his hand in front of Raven's staring eyes.  
  
"Rae? Are you okay, Ravi? Yoo-hoo...Rae-Rae..."  
  
The Goth's lips moved slightly and she whispered one word:  
  
"APA."  
  
The Changeling's eyes grew wide and he took a step backward. He put up his hands cautiously.  
  
"No, Rave, no APA. Sanity, Rae! Sanity...no, don't look at me that way...RAVEN!! NOOO!!1"  
  
But it was too late. Raven leapt over her fellow Titans and in the midst of the prep herd.  
  
"DIE, SCUM OF THIS PLANET!!!"  
  
"Noo!! Raven, resist the APA!!"  
  
Starfire and Robin watched with wide eyes as Raven devastated the preps. The Goth shrieked with a deadly force as she laid black energy blows left to right, scattering the pinkness. Robin tapped his green friend.  
  
"Uh, Beastboy? What's APA?"  
  
The Changeling looked sadly up at his friends.  
  
"APA stands for Automatic Prep Annihilation. Raven has fallen victim to its grip...just like many other Goths, weirdoes, oddballs, retards, and perverts across the globe. "  
  
Beastboy emphasized his statement by making a wide sweep of his hand to symbolize a planet. Robin raised an eyebrow.  
  
"And APA would be a bad thing how...???"  
  
The Changeling opened his mouth to respond, but then he closed it and paused in consideration. He then smiled and shrugged.  
  
"I guess it isn't so bad after a—"  
  
A beeping coming from his waistband interrupted the Green One. It was a small gadget in the shape of a Juicy Fruit pack. He glanced at it, then a weird look came over his face.  
  
"The time has come..."  
  
Robin and Starfire looked at Beastboy curiously. The Green One raised his arms to the heavens above and yelled,  
  
"OH JUICY FRUIT FOLLOWERS, THE TIME HAS COME TO RISE FORTH! WE SHALL TAKE BACK WHAT IS OURS! ATTACK THE BEARER!"  
  
Beastboy pointed to Terra, who was sitting innocently on Slade's knee. She clasped her hands and turned her big, blue eyes on the Changeling.  
  
"What Juicy Fruit? I have no such thing!"  
  
The Green One was suddenly surrounded by an angry mob bearing torches, pitchforks, and moldy shortbread cookies. They were all wearing T-shirts with a Juicy Fruit logo on the front.  
  
"We are the Juicy Fruit Followers!" they chanted in unison, directing their comments to the wide-eyed Robin and Starfire. Beastboy leapt on top of a rock so that the mob could hear his voice.  
  
"She has Juicy Fruit!" Beastboy yelled, waving a cookie in the air, pointing at Terra.  
  
"GET HER!!"  
  
Terra screamed and leaped off Slade's lap. She sprinted past Raven beating up Kitten and on down the beach. Beastboy, at the head of his mob, chased after her, chanting,  
  
"Juicy Fruit! Juicy Fruit!"  
  
Starfire and Robin were suddenly all alone on the sand. Slade looked at the Titans, sighed miserably, and snapped his fingers at his cucumbers. The green vegetables carried the heart-broken Slade away from the noise and on down the beach to search for new love. Robin fidgeted slightly, not knowing what to do alone with Starfire. Alone and hungry...with Starfire. Flickering torches and music caught his attention off to the side. The delectable aroma of food wafted on the summer night breeze. There was a tiki party going on up the beach. The Boy Wonder caught Starfire's hand and gestured toward the party.  
  
"Hey Star. Ever do the limbo?"  
  
Starfire looked surprised, but then smiled when she realized Robin was going to teach her something new. Her boyfriend led her down the beach, chattering all the way.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
MoonDeity: Well friends, last chapter is coming up next. But don't be sad! I have many more ideas for more Titans fics coming up. I have to write a script for my silly little bro's movie, so look for a One-Shot. Again, thank-you to Kimohono aka Chicgeek as well as Raven the Sorceress. Look for more of Kimohono aka Chicgeek in the next chapter! This chapter was revised because poolsofsorrow called to my attention the blonde comment in the description of the prep herd. "They were all blonde, all pink, and all HAPPY." That was an extremely ignorant comment and I should have been more conscientious of the fact that not all blondes are preps. I greatly apologize to anyone who read that segment and was offended; it was wrong on my behalf. Thank you to poolsofsorrow for noticing that mistake. 


	6. Dance Floor

MoonDeity: Heh-Heh, I kinda lied...this isn't the last chapter...this is the second to last chapter! Sorry...Hope you got sufficient Terra & Kitten bashing in the last chapter. Do YOU have APA? The warning signs are randomness, stupidity, hyperness, and hate for all things prep. Anyway...last chapter...a new Slade pairing...more Kimohono aka Chicgeek...oh yeah...Again, sorry to poolsofsorrow for the blonde comment.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans, Juicy Fruit, Speedos, or loofahs. The hot-dog idea belongs to Raven the Sorceress, and the Slade pick-up lines are property of Kimohono aka Chicgeek.   
  
Music Disclaimer: I, MoonDeity, is of no way accociated with Billy Idol, Dancing with Myself, Chryaslis Records, or Keith Forsey and nor do I own said people/tracks.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Beastboy trotted up the beach happily, having vanquished the evil Terra and taken her Juicy Fruit. He now looked around for Raven, while munching on a shortbread cookie and the newly conquered gum.  
  
"Raaaveeen...c'mon Ravi, where are you? Star and Robin are already gone to the Tiki Party and are doing the limbo! Oh...there you are..."  
  
Raven was sitting a top a pile of conquered preps, her eyes a deep blood red. She was holding a scrap of what looked like Kitten's bathing suit in her hand. The Goth flung her head back to the heavens and shouted a blood- curdling battle cry.  
  
"HEAR THIS PREPS! SOMEDAY, YOUR BLOOD SHALL RAIN IN TORRENTS AT MY FEET! AND THIS KNIFE SHALL BE THE LAST THING YOU SEE, AS IT SINGS WITH THE BLOODWRATH OF A THOUSAND NETHERWORLD DEMONS! MUAHAHAHAHAH—Oh, hey Beastboy."  
  
The now sober goth slid down the pile of preps and walked over to the stunned Changeling. The Green One's mouth fallen open, his eyes wide with shock. He shook his head and gave Raven a frightened grin.  
  
"Uh...heh heh, is the APA over yet? Cuz' they have food over at the Tiki Party."  
  
Raven shrugged and threw away the scrap of pink. She took Beastboy's arm and the two walked over to the Tiki Party. Behind them, men in germ-proof spacesuits were operating bulldozers to cart away the herd of preps. The Goth raised an eyebrow at the Changeling and pointed to the Juicy fruit.  
  
"Um, what was with all the Juicy Fruit Followers? Isn't Juicy Fruit a gum?"  
  
Beastboy nodded.  
  
"You mean you don't know about the Juicy Fruit?!?!"  
  
The Green One looked shocked when his girlfriend shook her head.  
  
"Well, EVERYONE knows that Juicy Fruit is the lifeblood of the Earth! You know those 'wars' all the countries wage over the stupidest things? Well, they are really over the sacred Juicy Fruit mines! Duh."  
  
Raven blinked at the Changeling and plucked a moldy shortbread cookie out of Beastboy's hair.  
  
"Then what's with the cookies?"  
  
Beastboy shrugged and ate the one Raven was holding out of her hand.  
  
"Leftover Girl Scouts Cookies, I guess."  
  
Raven nodded with approval and let Beastboy escort her to the Tiki Party.  
  
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Meanwhile, at the Tiki Party, Robin was teaching Starfire to do the limbo. The Boy Wonder bent himself at the waist and slid his body under the limbo pole. He straightened up on the other side and motioned for his girlfriend to do the same.  
  
"Come on Star, it's easier than it looks."  
  
Starfire fidgeted nervously on the other side of the pole.  
  
"But boyfriend Robin! The bar is fairly low...what if my Poddlenops get caught in the process of this 'limbo'?"  
  
Robin raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Poddlenops?"  
  
Starfire grasped her breasts. The Boy Wonder turned a bright shade of red and waved at the Tameranean to remove her hands.  
  
"Trust me Star. Your Puddlemops are safe...this is a...a specially designed bar."  
  
Starfire nodded and carefully slid herself under the bar. As Robin guided her, Raven and Beastboy walked through the two tiki torches that marked the entrance to the party. The Boy Wonder waved them over and righted Starfire as she came to the other side of the pole.  
  
"Hey guys. Neat party, huh?"  
  
Raven and Beastboy nodded in agreement. The beach officials had put together the ultimate beach party. There were garlands of lanterns and smoking tiki torches kept the mosquitoes away. There were tiki idols and a fake volcano stage for karaoke. A fully equipped buffet included tropical foods and drinks. Beastboy spotted the food and his mouth drooled in anticipation. He hadn't had food since breakfast, as his tofu-dog was forgotten when Raven appeared in her swimsuit. He grabbed Raven by the wrist and dragged her over to the buffet before she got a chance to scope out the surroundings. Robin and Starfire smiled, and then turned their attention to a dejected Slade, who apparently had not found love. His cucumbers carted him over to a spot beside Robin and Starfire, and let the throne of popsicle sticks drop with a plop. Robin smiled at the Speedo-wearing villain.  
  
"No luck with the love search, eh Slade?"  
  
Slade sighed in response, his chin resting on his hand. Starfire patted him on the back.  
  
"Fear not, enemy Slade. You always have your scantily clad female admirers...and if they reject you, then you may have my Gorka Pipes for love!"  
  
The Tameranean cheerfully held out the bag-shaped instrument, but she was interrupted by a voice behind her.  
  
"Hiya, Slade," said the silky voice.  
  
Starfire moved aside to reveal Jinx, clad in a purple swimsuit. In one hand, she held an iced drink. Slade popped up from his droopy position and rushed over to Jinx's side. Jinx raised an eyebrow at the Speedo.  
  
"Wow Slade. I like a man who is daring enough to wear a Speedo, yet ruthless enough to blackmail a teenage boy to betray his friends. I'LL be your apprentice any day!"  
  
Slade raised an eyebrow and offered the purple-haired sorceress his hand.  
  
"So...after we make this city fall to its knees, do you want to go grab some pizza?"  
  
Jinx grinned seductively and took Slade's hand.  
  
"Sure thing, big guy."  
  
Slade hoisted his newly found love onto his throne with him. Snapping his fingers, he summoned his armies of bimbos and cucumbers. After conversing in a hushed voice with both, half of the cucumbers trotted off, and the other half hoisted his throne up. Wrapping his arm around Jinx, whom was seated very comfortably on the throne, he waved at the Titans.  
  
"Fare thee well, Titans. I have business to take care of down the beach. And since I won't be here to provide entertainment....I have employed my loyal cucumbers to keep you occupied."  
  
Right on cue, half of Slade's cucumber army popped up on the karaoke stage. The lead cucumber, which had a more brightly colored lei than the others, grabbed the microphone.  
  
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My comrades and I are going to sing a nice, slow, extremely romantic and boring song for you."  
  
This drew gasps and groans from the crowd. The cucumber leader smiled an invisible smile.  
  
"I'm just kidding. My cucumbers and I are going to sing a 'groovy' song called 'Dancing With Myself' by Billy Idol. This is dedicated to the four Teen Titans in the crowd tonight. Let's shine the spotlight on them and make them nervous."  
  
On cue, two spotlights were switched on and directed to the two Titan couples. One was on Robin and Starfire over by the limbo poles. And the other was on Raven and Beastboy, the latter stuffing his face with fruit. He grinned apologetically at the crowd, wiped his face off and led the protesting Raven onto the dance floor by Robin and Star. The lead cucumber magically produced a guitar, which he strummed the opening line, and the cucumbers behind him followed up with the bass and drum set. The lead took a breath and sang, with a perfect Billy Idol voice, the opening verses.  
  
On the floor of Tokyo  
Or down in London town to go, go   
With the record selection   
With the mirror reflection   
I'm a-dancing with myself.  
  
Every beach goer broke into a grin and starting to dance. Robin expertly twirled Starfire around and around. The giggling Tameranean stopped herself and put her hands on her boyfriend's shoulders, moving her hips in time with the beat.  
  
"Oh boyfriend Robin! This music is most enjoyable! I never knew moving my Joyhommps could be so enjoyable!"  
  
When there's no-one else in sight   
In the crowded lonely night   
Well I wait so long   
For my love vibration   
And I'm a-dancing with myself.  
  
Beastboy was really moving; in fact, he was dancing circles around Raven. The Goth raised an eyebrow at the Green One and started to walk away. Beastboy pulled her back.  
  
"Come on Rae! Dancing is fun!"  
  
Raven pursed her lips.  
  
"I don't dance Beastboy, you know that."  
  
The Changeling spun Raven around so she was facing him. Planting his hands on her hips, he began to move them in time with the beat.  
  
"Yeah, I know you don't dance. But I also think you don't know how too. So I'll show you, okay?"  
  
Raven struggled to get free.  
  
"No! Beastboy let go."  
  
"No can do, Raven. I guess you're going to be forced to have fun and learn how to dance with me. Darn."  
  
A small grin played across Raven's mouth. Beastboy forced her to move her torso with the music.  
  
Oh dancing with myself  
  
Oh dancing with myself   
Well there's nothing to lose   
And nothing to prove   
I'll be dancing with myself.  
  
Robin wrapped his arms around Starfire, clasping his hands around her butt. The Tameranean put her arms on his shoulder, and her boyfriend expertly swayed to the music. All around them, beach goers were dancing up a storm.  
  
If I looked all over the world  
  
And there's every type of girl.   
But your empty eyes   
Seem to pass me by   
And leave me dancin' with myself.  
  
Beastboy had gotten Raven to move her hips and her torso. Now he was working on his favorite part, her chest.  
  
"Come on Rae. Move it..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Do I have to move it for you?"  
  
Raven glared at him from underneath her violet hair. Beastboy took one hand off her hip and tilted her chin up so his eyes stared into hers.  
  
"Rae...Rae Rae...Come on Rae Rae..."  
  
Raven still glared, but one corner of her mouth was twitching slightly.  
  
"Raaaaveeeennnn...don't smile Raven...don't laugh...try not to have a good time either."  
  
The Goth bit her lip to keep on laughing, her eyes watering with the effort. Beastboy smiled and moved his hands up her body so she would move her chest. Raven let herself go limp and move with the Green One's hands.  
  
So let's sink another drink  
'Cause it'll give me time to think   
If I had the chance   
I'd ask the world to dance   
And I'll be dancing with myself  
  
"Hey Raven, knock-knock."  
  
The Goth raised an eyebrow, but played along.  
  
"Who's there?"  
  
"Olive,"  
  
Raven sighed.  
  
"Another one of his pointless jokes..." she thought.  
  
"Olive who?" she asked aloud.  
  
Beastboy grinned and brought his face close to hers.  
  
"Oi love you."  
  
Raven broke into a grin, and Beastboy brought his lips close to hers. The Goth wrapped her arms around his torso and parted her lips slightly. The two kissed deeply, moving to the beat of the drummer cucumber all along.  
  
Dancing with myself  
  
Dancing with myself Dancing with myself Dancing with myself  
  
Robin looked up from Starfire's shoulder and spotted his two friends kissing. He tapped his girlfriend on the head and pointed over to the pair. The Tameranean turned from her boyfriend and squealed with delight. She turned questioning eyes upon Robin.  
  
"Boyfriend Robin, do they know that other people are watching them as they perform the ritual of saliva exchange?"  
  
Robin moved himself along with the beat of the music.  
  
"You can kiss in public. I'm surprised Raven allowed it, with her powers and all."  
  
Robin's eyes widened and he smacked himself upside the head.  
  
"Akk! What the hell was I thinking? Raven's powers!! She'll blow us out of the sky!"  
  
He broke from Starfire and started to run toward the spot where Raven and Beastboy were kissing. But when he reached it, they were gone! The Boy Wonder looked around confusedly and started to run in circles with agitation.  
  
"Where the hell did they go?!?! This is serious, we have to find them!"  
  
He started to get out his bird-a-rang when Starfire stopped him. The Tameranean pointed out past the beach and into the shallows of the sea.  
  
"I think that Raven will be just fine with our green friend. You see?"  
  
Raven and Beastboy were holding each other while standing ankle deep in the water. Raven had her head resting slightly on the Changeling's shoulder, and they were watching the first stars dot the sky.  
  
Starfire pulled her boyfriend back into the crowd. Robin looked back at the pair, who were now sharing a kiss.  
  
"I don't get it. Why aren't Raven's powers doing anything??"  
  
The Tameranean shrugged.  
  
"Perhaps the love she feels for Beastboy is channeled in a different way. Beastboy would not allow Raven's powers to go out of control."  
  
She smiled and pulled Robin onto the dance floor.  
  
"May we commence moving our bodies to the enjoyable noise?"  
  
Robin nodded and started to dance along with Starfire.  
  
Oh dancing with myself   
Oh dancing with myself   
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance   
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance   
If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance!!!  
  
The lead cucumber strummed the last chord on his guitar and bowed to the raving crowd. He took up the microphone and said,  
  
"Thank-you, all beach bums. Have a great night, we hope you pick up some hookers, and stay sober."  
  
The cucumber group walked off stage, their hula skirts swishing. The crowd began to thin as everyone began to head toward the parking lot. Robin and Starfire went to the camping site to pack up the remainder of their things.  
  
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Beastboy and Raven finished their kiss and gazed up into the twilight sky. The remnants of sunlight made the sky shimmer with blue, purple and black, the beginnings of stars twinkling in the vast expanse. The ocean water reflected the sky as it lapped around the couple's ankles. Beastboy tightened his hold around Raven, pulling her body closer to his, indulging in its warmth. Pressing his lips onto the top of her head, he breathed in her silky hair, it smelling of lavender. Raven shifted in his arms and gazed off into nothingness, letting the Changeling nuzzle her. She would have to consult her crystal ball and her magic books for answers as to why her powers didn't act out of love. Wasn't it an emotion?? Her powers had to act some way, fueled by feelings as they were. Beastboy, as if reading her mind, freed one arm and pointed out across the water to the horizon.  
  
"Look, Rae."  
  
The Goth squinted her eyes and made out a group of sea creatures. They were too far away for Raven to make out, but she could see a flicker of tail in the water. As the beings moved closer, she realized that her powers had summoned mermaids to them. The mermaids flicked their tails and beached themselves at the pair's feet. Raven and Beastboy had never seen anything like them. The mermaids had fair skin and brightly colored eyes. Each of them seemed to have a dominant color to them. Their eyes, hair, bras, and fins were that color. Their hair was long and wavy, coming down to their torso. They had bras made of coral and seashells. Their tails were made of fine, metallic scales, as bright as the water itself. Some of the mermaids wore gems on their foreheads. About six or seven of them gathered at Raven and Beastboy's feet. They were so entranced by Raven's magic that they were completely tame, allowing the pair to feel their tails and hair. They even sang a few bars for them.  
  
"Amazing," Raven said as the stroked a mermaid's fin.  
  
Beastboy nodded in agreement and accepted an anemone from one small mermaid.  
  
"See Rae? You powers aren't all that bad. I guess love makes mystical creatures appear. Must be something to do with the scent of magic."  
  
"I will have to meditate on this when I get home, you know."  
  
Beastboy nodded again in understanding.  
  
"I wonder if they can talk, though."  
  
A golden mermaid blinked up at Beastboy.  
  
"Stpalsp alchstqu trch Angleesh."  
  
Another mermaid piped up,  
  
"English? You speak English, no our language."  
  
Raven laughed and explained to Beastboy.  
  
"They must speak Tilician. It's an ancient language English was built off. They might understand us, but they can't speak with us very well."  
  
A green mermaid waved her tail in the air.  
  
"Magic bring us to you. Mnma wamalomipla kplokatrmi."  
  
A pink mermaid craned her head up at the pair.  
  
"Stoalchka? Me sing for you?"  
  
Raven and Beastboy nodded.  
  
The pink mermaid took a deep breath and trilled the first note.  
  
"RAAAVVEEEN!!!! BEEEAAASSSTTBOOOYY!!! TIME TO GOOOOO!!!"  
  
The piercing voices of Robin and Starfire spooked the mermaids. They were gone with a flick of the tail, the pink one taking her song with her. The Tameranean floundered out into the shallows to her friends. Robin scratched his head.  
  
"Were those dolphins?"  
  
The disappointed couple turned to their friends. Raven shook her head and glared at Starfire. Beastboy waved it off and led Raven to shore.  
  
"I guess the beach is closing, right?"  
  
Robin nodded and handed a bag each to Raven and Beastboy.  
  
"Let's get into the T-Car and head home," he said.  
  
The two couples started up a sand dune, hand in hand, ready to head for home.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
MoonDeity: Wow, this thing is long. Sorry if there were fewer laughs in it than usual. I revised it almost a million times. Please forgive the delay on this chapter. I am writing the next one as you read this. Tisk, tisk, patience is a virtue, you know.... 


	7. Into the Sunset

MoonDeity: Ok, this is the VERY last chapter. For real. Really. I apologize, when I wrote out the synopsis for this, I did not realize to make this a good fic, I needed to be thorough. (grins idiotically) My eyes always have been bigger than my stomach, you know.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. I do not own the Speedos, loofahs, Juicy Fruit, Girl Scouts, nor do I own the hot-dog girl idea and the Slade pick-up lines. Properties of Kimohono aka Chicgeek and Raven the Sorceress.  
  
Musical Disclaimer: I, MoonDeity, am of no way associated with Billy Idol, Dancing with Myself, Keith Forsey, or Chrysalis Records Inc. and I do not own said tracks/songs/people.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Robin shoved the last of the beach ware into the trunk of the T-Car. The Titans had spent 45 minutes tracking down, gathering, and packing their beach items. Now they were defiantly ready to head back to Titan's Tower.  
  
The Boy Wonder climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. Glancing around at his friends, he smiled at the state of them. Beastboy and Raven were in the backseat. The Green One was fast asleep and drooling on Raven's shoulder. The Goth let him stay there, and she was gazing out into the night, contemplating the stars. Beside Robin, Starfire sat curled up, fast asleep. Her arms were wrapped around her Gorka Pipes.  
  
Robin looked carefully around, and no one was watching, he rummaged in his swim trunks. After a few seconds of poking and prodding, he produced Slade's pina-colada. Looking around again, he leaned over tentatively and took a sip. Instantly, a goofy grin spread across his face.  
  
"Cool, so this is what a pina-colada tastes like. Wow, I could get hooked on these!"  
  
Robin started the car and pulled out of the parking slot. Very soon, he had gotten onto the highway. Beside him, Starfire sighed in her sleep and mumbled,  
  
"The light bulbs are in the pelican cellar...oh my...squirrels..."  
  
The Boy Wonder shook his head and navigated the car up the winding mountain road. Breathing in the sharp scent of pine, he sighed in thankfulness for having such a wonderful, peaceful home to come home to.  
  
"I am so lucky," he thought.  
  
"I have a great place to come home to, and Cyborg will have fixed the air conditioning. It'll be awesome to get back to the Tower...unwind....do nothing stimulating what so eve---WHAT THE HECK?!?!"  
  
Robin's masked eyes grew very large as he took in Titan's Tower.  
  
"The Tower!!!" ,Robin screamed.  
  
Beastboy and Starfire were jolted out of sleep by Robin's voice. Raven blinked at the Titan's leader, then she nearly jumped out of her seat when she saw the Tower.  
The "peaceful" haven of the Titans was turned into a mad house. Loud music boomed out of the windows, trash was everywhere, and the disco lights were turned on. Scantily clad women ran about the property, and hyper individuals were playing with belongings of the Titans.  
The four Titans sat stunned as a spiky haired teen landed on the hood of the T-Car, eating something that looked like Beastboy's monkey doll.  
Suddenly, the front door of the Tower blew open, and materializing out of the smoke was Cyborg. He was wearing a lamp shade and had two almost-naked women on his shoulders. The women were feeding him pork and beef on skewers.  
  
"Boo-ya! M-mm, thanks Charlene and Monica."  
  
The two girls giggled and straddled Cyborg. Robin, Starfire, Beastboy, and Raven all leapt out of the car at once, their hair and eyes ablaze with anger.  
  
"Cyborg....what is this...?" ,The Titan Leader said through clenched teeth.  
  
Cyborg gulped and pushed the two girls off him. He twiddled his thumbs nervously as he approached his friends.  
  
"Heh heh...hey y'all. Didn't quite expect you back so...soon. Heh heh..."  
  
Raven balled up her fists in fury, black lightening surrounding them. Starfire puffed out her chest and pointed an accusing finger at her guilty friend.  
  
"You...Cyborg...are just a...a...A FORPLIKIN MUBAR RURUNIX!!!"  
  
Beastboy joined Starfire.  
  
"Yeah! And then some!"  
  
The unfortunate half-man half-machine was about to say something, but an obnoxious beeping from behind his friends interrupted him. Slade was leaning on the horn of his car, making a continuous sound. Lifting his elbow up, he smiled at the Titans and draped one arm around Jinx. The psycho was back in his armor, and his army of sluts were dressed in Slade uniforms. His cucumbers bore little "S" badges, and they were armed with their glue bottles. And beside Jinx was...the hot-dog girl. She still had the top of her hot-dog costume, but most of her was covered in white gauze. Her left arm was bandaged and bound in a sling. She smiled a toothy grin at the Titans. "Good evening, Titans," said Slade.  
  
"I trust that you will be mauling each other shortly? Good, very good...I just popped by to show you my new secret weapon, Titans."  
  
He gestured to the hot-dog girl, who was fingering her merchandise.  
  
"I know she will put up an excellent challenge for you. And my armies of hookers and cucumbers will provide even more difficulty in your attempts of stopping me."  
  
Robin was shaking with frustration, tore between lunging at Slade and tearing apart Cyborg. Starfire was chasing a slut who had her Gorka Pipes around the property. And Beastboy was restraining Raven from lunging at Cyborg and possibly disemboweling him. Slade waved at his enemies, and put his car into drive. But before he did, he pointed to Raven.  
  
"By the way, my dear; your mechanical friend gave his little female friends permission to go into your room. I believe you no longer have anymore blue cloaks; so sorry."  
  
Slade pointed to Raven, and then floored the car, driving out of sight. The Goth was shaking, and seemed on the verge of a melt-down. Her pupils were dilated and all around her, random objects were blowing up. Beastboy had to turn into a gorilla to hold her back. But she was really pushed over the edge when a naked female danced by her, wearing her FAVORITE blue cloak. Chest heaving, she turned toward Cyborg, who was cowering behind a rock.  
  
"Cy...cy...CYBORG!! AUGH!!"  
  
Raven let out an ear-shattering scream and broke Beastboy's grip. She let out a bolt of black energy at Cyborg, which he dodged. The attack dissolved the rock he was hiding behind. The half-man half-machine trembled, then screamed when he saw Raven, Robin, and Starfire running after him with blood-lust in their eyes.  
  
"YOU HAVE LET WHORES INTO OUR DOMAIN AND THEY HAVE RUINED MY GORKA PIPES!!!"  
  
"YOU SPOILED A PEACEFUL EVENING FOR ME!!"  
  
"YOU LET THOSE SLUTS INTO MY ROOM AND RUINED MY CLOTHES!!"  
  
Cyborg leapt up and started running. Looking back, he whispered in a feeble voice,  
  
"Yeah...but I got the air conditioning to work..."  
  
Unfortunately, his fellow Titans heard and started to chase him with more fury. They chased him until they were out of sight of poor Beastboy. The Changeling was dizzy from when Raven knocked him off her. Looking around, and not seeing any of his friends, the Green One sighed sadly and moped pathetically on the ground. Suddenly, he brightened up, rummaged in his shorts, and produced his pail of loofahs.  
  
"Aw, loofah friends! YOU would never leave me to chase someone...let's sing the friend's song!"  
  
Beastboy cuddled the pail and wrapped his legs around it, and commenced singing a high-pitched song in his squeaky voice.  
  
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The moon and stars must have beheld a strange sight from their posts that night. Gazing over the bay and to Titan's Tower, one could only question the sanity of the creatures on that little island. In one corner of the island, there sat a little green elf, cuddling a pail of loofahs, singing a strangely happy song to them. On another corner, three very angry beings chased a bigger, more metallic one around. And in the center, there were nearly naked females and males on sugar-highs destroying a giant "T".  
  
"Aiyaa," thought the moon as she rubbed her eyes.  
  
"I really have to stop drinking these pina-coladas."  
  
The End.  
  
MoonDeity: Wow, 7 chapters, that is good for me! Kinda a sucky tie-up, but I worked a long time on it. Anyway, I hope you got a few laughs out of this fic, and don't hesitate to review this or e-mail me. I get on my computer everyday, but I don't have AIM or IM or any of that jazz. Thanks for reading. 


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